Self-Esteem – A Core Limiting Belief
Self-Esteem – What It Is & How To Improve It
Is Self-Esteem really just a ‘belief’?
YES! Your self-esteem is what you believe (and feel) about yourself, and is just a belief system.
Many people find this difficult to believe and prefer to think of self-esteem as something that they are ‘born’ with and that cannot be changed.
This is not true and a little self reflection will probably allow you to think of times when you felt ‘great’ and ‘full of confidence’, for example, if you are married, wasn’t your wedding day a major highlight in your life? If you drive a car, wasn’t finally passing your test just the best thing that ‘ever happened’?
If you think about self-esteem in these terms, then you will probably realise that the way you feel and have felt about yourself over your life has probably changed frequently, from times when it was very low to other times when you felt ‘on top of the world’.
Many therapists and coaches believe that your self-esteem is actually only around TWO WEEKS old at any point in time.
Our beliefs-based course of CBT teaches you tools and techniques that can have a really dramatic effect on the way that you think and feel about yourself so that you can develop a high self-esteem for a greater period of time.
What Determines Self-Esteem?
People tend to believe that the events that happen to them drive their self-esteem, but we believe that there is a subtle ‘proviso’ to this assertion, and that the way that we ‘think and process’ the events that happen to us influences how we feel about ourselves arther than the events themselves.
This is the idea of an ‘internal locus of control‘.
One of the key activities that we encourage you to do when following the CLB Programme is to spend a certain amount of time each day thinking about (and ‘processing’) the positive experiences that you have had over the lest few days, or indeed in the last few hours.
Far too many people seem to spend a major proportion of their time (and lives) focusing all of their ‘thinking time’ to worrying about things that have gone ‘wrong’ or are ‘negative’.
This serves very little purpose apart from wasting a lot of time creating negative emotional responses from un-helpful thinking!
Low versus High Self-Esteem
- I feel like a bit of a failure
- I focus on my mistakes
- I am a perfectionist
- I feel uncomfortable when people compliment me
- Praising yourself is just wrong
- I feel confident in my abilities
- I dedicate time to thinking about what I’ve done well
- My best is good enough, even if it’s not perfect
- I appreciate positive comments from people
- It’s good to recognise your successes
FREE Initial Consultations to Improve Self-Esteem
We offer all prospective clients a FREE initial assessment to chat about improving your self-esteem.
During this 50 minute consultation we will discuss the various options that are available to you and make a considered recommendation based on your individual personal circumstances.
At Tranceform we believe that therapy & counselling should be a collaboration between therapist and client so it’s very important to be able to meet PRIOR to agreeing any kind of help. Our policy is to help people make a fully balanced & considered decision about undertaking work with us, including both the financial and personal implications.
For most mental health issues we recommend following our 10 session Tranceformental CBT Programme (an advanced version of conventional Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to overcome a wide range of mental health and behavioural problems.
CBT is a proven form of therapy for developing a fundamental level of understanding into the dynamics of your problem, but also for learning new coping skills and strategies for sustainable change over your life.