Mental Health Counselling for Sexual Perversions or Unwanted Sexual habits
What “turns a person on” and what we desire sexually may or may not be considered by society at large as unacceptable. More importantly, perversions or fetishes are NOT a sign of poor mental health and the idea of sexual desire having a ‘normal’ expression is a socially constructed idea rather than a statement of fact.
So in some respects it might be more appropriate to talk about ‘sexual perversions’ as ‘sexual preferences’.
“Technically” sexual perversions are any sexual act that are not carried out for the prime objective of pro-creation, in other words, they “pervert” the course of the principle objective of the sexual function.
“Perversion” is a term that has attracted new meanings and interpretations over the years of use, but most dictionaries define the word to mean: “distortion or corruption of the original course, meaning, or state of something.”
As most sexual perversions are indulged in within the privacy of our own homes it is difficult to determine if your “preference” is “healthy” or “unhealthy”.
Obviously, there are some sexual perversions that are clearly unacceptable and indeed against the Law, for example Paedophilia and Necrophilia, but there are many more sexual perversions that people desire and indulge in but very rarely own up to!
Most people’s sexual preferences are formed in the early-ish developmental years when fantasy plays a large part in sexual excitement that in later years, as an adult, can be acted out.
As single adults it is relatively easy to find and identify “like-minded” individuals who can share the sexual perversions we have, but if you are now in a relationship and have kept these preferences “buried” or “hidden” due, perhaps to feelings of Guilt or Shame, then it can put a lot of strain on that relationship.
What are typical sexual perversions?
There are a large number of sexual perversions that might be considered to be “unacceptable” but of course this does NOT mean that they are wrong… One person’s pleasure can be another person’s unacceptable behaviour which society itself might consider completely normal.
Typical sexual perversions include:
- Voyeurism (Watching others have sex)
- Sexual games and role-playing (“Doctors and Nurses”)
- Sexual Pleasure through pain (Sadomasochism)
- Being Spanked or Spanking others
- Being Tied-up (Sexual Bondage)
- Being Dominated or Dominating
- Sexual Pleasure from being observed whilst indulging in sex (Exhibitionism)
- Preferring Masturbation to the Sexual Act
- Sexual pleasure through Strangulation (Autoerotic Asphyxia)
- Sexual pleasure through Objects (Shoes, Stockings – Fetishes)
It is very important that if you are indulging in any of these activities that you take extra care to be safe, legal and to not impose your desires without consent, particularly, for example, if practising Autoerotic Asphyxia.
So is there something wrong with me?
Without doubt, everybody has sexual fantasies regardless as whether or not they are seen as “acceptable” by society.
If your fantasies or desires are moving you towards the illegal you should definitely seek help to modify them.
If you feel that your partner will be able to understand your desires, or can listen to your concerns then communicating this is definitely an option, but of course this does represent a risk.
In most cases, a healthy sex life in which two consenting adults actively participate in their mutual sexual perversions can be satisfying and healthy.
Should I tell my partner about my sexual perversions?
Discussing and then carrying out your hidden desires with your partner could be a fulfilling experience for both of you which serves to increase the quality of the bond between you, although or course there is also the risk that your partner could become very “uncomfortable” to discover your hidden desires leading instead to a break-down of trust or the relationship itself.
This is a difficult decision to make.
My sexual perversions are ruining my relationship
If things have already developed into a problem within your relationship or that your desires are starting to get out of hand, then it may be time to take some positive action.
Sexual Perversions Counselling
Sexual Perversions, in common with many other problems and conditions, is often made worse by “un-helpful” thinking traits or “distorted” belief systems. (The way we perceive the World around us).
The limiting beliefs associated with Sexual Perversions may have been created by an actual negative experience that has now been “blown out of proportion” or indeed may be the result of “imagined experiences” which can lead to the same outcome – the experience of Anxiety related symptoms.
If we can learn how to manage these limiting beliefs or cognitive distortions using the tools and techniques contained in therapies such as our Cognitive Behavioural Therapy programme, then we can also learn how to control the emotional experiences that we have – ie. manage the symptoms.
It is also possible that people worrying about their Sexual Perversions may have some other emotional or childhood trauma problems that are indirectly related to the problem itself but still create Anxiety and Stress which make the symptoms worse.
In these cases, as it is may be more difficult to identify the distorted thinking or limiting beliefs associated with the Sexual Perversions themselves and therefore following a course of Psycho-dynamic Therapy may be more beneficial.
Therapy for Sexual Perversions
In general, Sexual Perversions respond well to therapy if the desire to change is sufficiently high.
As a guide, if you have worried about Sexual Perversions for a significant number of years and have experienced Anxiety about them since your childhood, then you might be best advised to undertake a course of Psycho-dynamic therapy.
If, on the other hand, your Sexual Perversions problems are more recent and on the whole you have been free from the symptoms for extended periods of your life, then you might benefit more from one of the briefer, “directive” type interventions.
Transform Your Thinking & Deal with Sexual Perversions
If you would like to stop indulging in any of your sexual perversions (preferences) then we highly recommend following either our Advanced Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course with Paul, or the Changing Limiting Beliefs (CLB) Programme with Joan.
Both the CBT course and Changing Limiting Beliefs approach are highly successful & pragmatic psychological training programmes, run over 10 sessions, that will teach you everything you need to know to understand your problem, identify how unhelpful thinking and limiting beliefs might be reinforcing the issue, and then show you how to make any changes to your unhelpful thinking styles or maladaptive safety behaviours that you may have developed as part of your coping strategies.
Our CBT programme is an evidence-based, research supported approach used by mental health practitioners around the World.
Confidential Initial Consultations
We offer all prospective clients a Confidential initial assessment to chat about your sexual perversions and related problems. During this 50 minute consultation we will discuss the various options that are available to you and make a considered recommendation based on your individual personal circumstances.
At TranceForm we believe that therapy & counselling should be a collaboration between therapist and client so it’s very important to be able to meet PRIOR to agreeing any kind of help. Our policy is to help people make a fully balanced & considered decision about undertaking therapy with us, including both the financial and personal implications.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a proven, evidence-based form of mental health counselling for developing a fundamental understanding of the dynamics of your problem, but also for learning new coping skills and strategies for sustainable change over your life.
The full course costs £795 which you can pay for on our fees page.
Tranceformental CBT is available On-line as well as a one-to-one format in the clinic.
Visit Online Counselling for more details.