Processing Positive Experiences

Why Processing Positive Experiences is SO Important.

Failing to take full and proper account of any positive experiences in your life can lead you to automatically disqualify experiences that would normally contribute to your health and mental well-being.

This is something that we encounter on a daily basis here at the TranceForm clinic and we never ceased to be amazed by how many people seem to totally ignore the incredible things they achieve everyday!

If you only measure success by the number of Nobel Peace prizes that have been awarded, then it’s unlikely that the global population ever achieve anything.

If, on the other hand, you measure success by getting to the top of a steep hill, then everybody can succeed and feel great about it. It’s a matter of perspective!

Examples of Disqualifying Positive Experiences

You believe that you’re worthless and talentless. When you get promoted at work you think to yourself, ‘This really doesn’t count because anybody could do this job’. As a result you feel disappointed rather than feeling pleased.

You tell yourself that you’re pathetic. When a friend tells you that you’ve been a really good and valuable friend you disqualify the experience by telling yourself that, ‘He’s only saying that because he feels sorry for me which proves just how pathetic I really am.’

Change the Filter

Rather than automatically consigning everyday positive events or compliments to the ‘meaningless’ bin, try to develop a new habit of actually noting down the experiences that made you feel good. Try the following:

Become Aware of Your ‘Positive’ Filter

Try to think about the experiences that you automatically ‘write-off’ and try to accept compliments with less criticism. Isn’t it possible that you got promotes at work because (1) you really are that skilled, and (2) you’ve worked hard and thoroughly deserve it?

Accept the Gift of Compliments

Rather than rejecting the nice things that friends and colleagues say to you learn to accept them like a nice gift with a simple ‘Thank You’. We often believe that our friends don’t really know us and that only we know our own true value, but in reality, our own self-perception is almost always the most distorted one!